(Bud is sleeping. Cut to Freshwater High)
Mr. Baldwin: So you're in for a real treat today, class. A lecture... (pulls down a picture showing a recursive image of him doing the same thing) On the history of lectures.
Everyone/Clamantha: Ohh.../Aww, man./Awesome!
(Mr. Baldwin begins reading a book that mostly reads "BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH")
Mr. Baldwin: Peronimous Lectorium gave the first lecture at Mount Lecturinous... (keeps talking)
Milo: (whispers to Oscar) Dude, look, I really wanna concentrate on Mr. Baldwin's lesson, but...I just can't.
Oscar: Because it's so boring?
Milo: No, because his nose looks like a giant sea cucumber, and now, I'm hungry.
Oscar: It does not. (takes one look at it, his tummy grumbles) Oh, man!
Milo: Maybe he'll put himself to sleep so we can grab some grubs.
Mr. Baldwin: In 1987 -- (falls asleep)
Milo: Friday night fun! (slaps Oscar's fins) Here we come! Let's get Bea and BLOW this popstand!
Bea: Yes! Baldwin's asleep. (grabs a list) Now, we can go over our checklist for tonight's sleepover. Shellsea, you're bringing cupcakes.
Bea: Koi has the chick flicks.
Koi: (holds a magazine) Waaaah.
Bea: And I've got the place. Let's meet up at say...seven?
Shellsea: Perfect. Totally gives me time for a disco nap.
(Cutway to a realistic version of Shellsea as women sing "Go on!")
Bea: Omigosh you guys, this is gonna be the best girl's night ever.
(the girls cheer)
Milo: (jumps onto Bea's desk) Oh, yay-uh! Come on, Bea Bea Goode! We gotta get down to the old Hokey Poke before Baldwin wakes up!
Bea: Ooh, hold up, Milo.
Bea: I'm...well...throwing a little partyyy! Ahhhhh!
Milo: I love parties.
Bea: Yeah, but, see, it's...it's a special kind of party.
Milo: (elbowing Oscar) Well, I'm a special kind of guy.
Bea: It's a girl's sleepover party, so, by definition, it's girls only. We can hang out tomorrow. Okay?
Milo: What? We're not invited?
Shellsea: Uh, loooooook. It is nothing "personal", okay? Sometimes we girls just need a night to get together, and you know... (pauses) Have fun.
Milo: Please invite me to your party, PLEASE!
Shellsea: I'm watching you. (pauses) With my fish eyes! (inflates her eyes)
(The girls chatter as they swim out)
Oscar: Okay, Bea, then it's a date. See you tomorrow, I mean, not a date-date, cause you know, hoohoo, why would I want that? Hahahaha. Phew.
Milo: Oscar, this is serious! Bea! Is throwing! A party! Without us!
Oscar: Yes, I know.
Milo: And -- and -- and what if she has an amazing time at this party?
Oscar: It could happen.
Milo: And completely forgets we exist?!
Oscar: She won't forget we exist, Milo.
Milo: And before you know it, she's moved to Fish Austin, Texas and married with eight kids --
Oscar: Milo, have you completely lost your -- (pauses) Wait, Bea's married with eight kids?
Milo: And... (inhales) SHE SALES REAL ESTATE!
Oscar: This can't happen, this can't happen at all! We have to get Bea back!
Milo: I'm sayin'!
Oscar: (as he and Milo cower) HOW DO WE DO IT?!
Milo: We -- (their tummies rumble) Can't think on an empty stomach. To the Hokey Poke!
Oscar: To the Hokey Poke! Hurrah!
(Wipe to outside the pet store last night. Cut to Bea's living room, she opens the door to reveal the girls)
(the girls giggle)
Bea: Girls night! Okay girls, now that you're all here, let's get down to some serious girl business.
Clamantha: Who wants to paint my nails?
Finberley: But Clamantha, you don't have any nails.
Shellsea: (chuckles) Wait. None of us do.
Koi: (holds up a box of nails) Wha?
Bea: Oh, Koi!
(The girls laugh)
(Cut to the Hokey Poke)
Milo: We're hatching a plan to get Bea back.
Oscar: (rubbing fins) Plan hatching hath commenced.
Milo: (also rubbing fins) Maybe ideas flow upon us like a river of honey!!
Oscar: Let the honey river flow.
(We hear the sound of crickets, followed by snoring and coughing in the background)
Milo: I got nothin'.
Oscar: Me either.
Bassy: Here's the check, boys.
Oscar: Thanks, Bassy. Love the new hairstyle.
Bassy: It's not a new hairstyle. It's a growth. (sobs)
Oscar: Wow, woman everywhere seem to wanna get away from us today. It's like we're cursed inside these male bodies or something.
Milo: Yeah, man. Bein' dudes is completely ruining our lives! OSCAR!
Oscar: (shrieks) What?!
Milo: WE HAVE AN IDEA!!
Oscar: (claps) Yaaay. What is it?
Milo: Okay, okay okay. Well, Bea is ditchin' us because we're guys, right?
Milo: So, what if we weren't guys?
Milo: You didn't even hear me out!
Oscar: Wrong, wrong, wrong!
Milo: But Oscar, it's so simple! To show Bea we have feminine sides, all we have to do --
Milo: Is dress --
Milo: Like girls!
Oscar: No, wrong! So wrong!
Milo: (topples Oscar over) We sneak into the party as "the new girls"...
Oscar: Get off me, Milo!
Milo: Become best friends with Bea, then dramatically reveal it's us, at which point Bea will ditch her "girlfriends" and promise to never leave us again!
Oscar: That's not the plan! That's a bad plan!
Milo: It's the most original genus idea ever thought of in the history of fish!
Oscar: It's the oldest idea in the book!
Milo: It's perfect.
Oscar: I am not dressing like a girl, Milo!
(Cut to outside Bea's living room, Milo and Oscar are wearing dresses, makeup and hair pieces like what girls wear)
Oscar (cont.): I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DRESSED LIKE A GIRL, MILO! I'm going home before anyone sees me.
Milo: No, no, you can't give up now!
Oscar: Yes I can. I mean it looks like she's having a perfectly good time, laughing and...
(Cut to Bea's living room, Bea and her friends are dancing while Clamantha sings)
Oscar (cont.): ...carrying on, like a happy person or something?
(Cut back outside)
Milo: Yeah, laughing at our expense! (swims up to the door)
(Cut to a close up of the door, Milo and Oscar see Bea, Esmargo, Finberley and Shellsea talking)
Oscar: I can't hear anything through the glass.
Milo: You have to read their lips.
Oscar: I can't read lips.
Milo: I'll translate. (clears throat, imitates Bea and mimics her gestures) "Who here thinks Milo and Oscar are total lame-os, that we should never hang out with?" (giggles)
Oscar: She did not just say that. (Bea and the girls raise their arms) Oh my gosh, you're right!
(Cut to inside)
Bea: See, Shellsea? I totally have dried fin on my elbows.
Clamantha: Time to moisterize! (squirts moisturizer)
(Cut back outside)
Oscar: Okay, that was more than enough evidence to convince me. We're goin' in!
(Milo rings the doorbell)
Shellsea: Bea, door.
Bea: Really? Huh, I thought everyone was here already. (opens door) Hello?
Milo: (in a girly voice) Hellooooooooo!
(Shellsea comes over and looks at Milo and Oscar up and down)
Milo: I am...uh...mm...Milovia! And...this is my friend.
Oscar: Oscar -- (a human leg kicks him) Ow! I-I-I mean -- Oscar...lin...abeth. Oscarlinabeth! Yeah, that's the ticket!
Milo: We are girls, and we are here for girl's night!! (he and Oscar giggle) Uh, 'xcuse us!
Oscar: Girls coming through! (chuckles) Oscar: Do you think we fooled them?
Milo: Yes, ma'am. We are in like fins, baby.
(Milo and Oscar giggle)
Bea: You totally know that's Milo and Oscar, right?
Shellsea: Yeah. And it's ugly.
Bea: I am so irritated. I spend every single day with them and all I asked for was one night with the girls. Why do they feel the need to crash my party?
Shellsea: The same reason any boys show up to a girl's sleepover, Bea. To spy.
(Milo and Oscar both giggle by the snack bar.)
Milo and Oscar: Yeah, girl power!
Bea: Know what? I need to just tell them to leave.
Shellsea: Hold your fire, girl. This could be fun. They're trying to ruin our night, so why don't we try to ruin theirs?
Bea: I don't know, Shellsea. They're just being dorks. They can't really help it.
Shellsea: Bea, it's wrong. They think to be a girl all you gotta do is put on a dress.
Bea: It is so much more than that!
Shellsea: I know, girl. Let's teach 'em a lesson.
Bea: They have no idea what we go through.
Bea: The pain, the stress, the trials, the tribulations.
Bea: We are complex, intelligent, beautiful, successful, amazing creations of the universe and they need to respect that! They must feel pain.
Shellsea: You're crazy. I like it.
(Cutway to a realistic version of Shellsea as women sing "Come on!")
Bea: Okay, all girls who aren't boys, huddle up, please.
Koi: Wah, wah, wah.
Milo: Ooh, a group hug.
Oscar: But she said only girls who aren't boys.
Milo: Oh, okay. More dip for us.
Bea: Ladies, I have disturbing news. Girls' night has been infiltrated by boys.
Bea: I know, Koi. I'm angry too. But Milo and Oscar chose the wrong girls' night to crash. If they wanna be girls, we're gonna make 'em earn it.
Oscar Shellsea, you look angry.
Shellsea: I'm not angry. That's just my face.
Milo: This is my face. My girl face.
Bea: So as girls, you must love makeovers, right?
Oscar: M-m-m-makeover? (Milo hits Oscar with a realistic human foot) Ow!
Milo: We girls would love nothing more.
Koi: Wah, wah, wah, wah. (Koi grabs the boys)
Bea: Every makeover should start with an invigorating facial.
Bea: Fire up the bubbler, Finberley.
(Finberley turns on the bubbler)
Milo and Oscar: My eyes!
Bea: We girls love mud masks.
Shellsea: Mud masks. Oh, no.
Bea: And, Clamantha, how about you help the girls with some bedazzlement?
Clamantha: Sparkle is my specialty. (Hawking up pearls)
Milo and Oscar: Oh, no.
Milo: Okay. (chuckles) We feel totally refreshed and beautiful now.
Oscar: Yeah, so you can stop now, please.
Shellsea: We're not done.
(Sleepover Rap starts)
Bea, Finberley: You say that you are
Bea, Shellsea, Finberley: Girls
Bea, Shellsea: With your rough down greasy curls
Bea: Well, if that's true
Shellsea: Then prove it, boo
Bea, Shellsea: And show us what girls do
Bea, Shellsea: Talk about your feelings
Milo, Oscar: What?
Bea, Shellsea: Tell Jocktopus he's cute
Milo, Oscar: You're cute?
All: And if he doesn't treat you right
Then give that boy the boot
Bea: But, hey, don't let that get you down
We've got a little tip
Comfort food will get you through
Bea, Shellsea, Finberley, Esmargot: Eat dip!
Bea: Eat dip!
Bea, Shellsea: Eat dip!
Fish: Eat dip!
Baby: Eat dip!
Oscar: How much longer till we prove it to her?
Milo: It could take years to win Bea back.
Oscar: Years? Stop! Stop everything!
Milo: What on earth are you doing?
Oscar: I'm tired of the lies, Milo. If Bea is gonna hang around us, she's gonna have to like us as we are. As... as... the men we are.
Milo: Don't do it, Oscar. I beg of you. You're throwing away our dreams, our one and only chance at happiness in this madcap crazy world. Come on!
Oscar: Okay, I guess you're right.
Oscar: No! We're boys! We're boys, we're boys, not girls! We're boys. Look at us. Look at us in all our dirty, lying glory. And judge us, for we deserve to be judged for not being honest fish... boys. (starts sobbing) Aren't you gonna react? Like angry mob style or something?
Bea: Um, we, like, kind of already knew.
Clamantha: We did? (explodes)
Milo: What do you mean, you knew?
Bea: Come on, guys, we're not idiots.
Shellsea: We were messing with you because you spied.
Milo and Oscar: Spied?
Bea: Yeah. And hopefully, you learned it's not so easy being a girl.
Milo: I never said it was easy being a girl. We thought we were gonna lose you forever unless we showed you our feminine sides.
Oscar: Yeah, and I can't lose you! I mean... I mean we. (laughs) We can't lose you. Whew.
Bea: You mean you guys went to all that trouble for me? Aw!
Shellsea: Who knew boys could be so sweet?
All: Oh, Koi! (laughing)
Milo: Wow, it's just so much love in one room! So, what's next, girls, huh? Pillow fight?
(Milo and Oscar get kicked out of Bea's tank)
Bea: Sorry, guys. Girls' night is still just for girls. Doesn't mean I don't like you. See you tomorrow, bye!
Milo: Hey, man, we tried. (pokes Oscar's face) Boop.
Oscar: What do you wanna do now?
Milo: Dude, the night's still young. How about we have a boys' sleepover?
(Cut to Jocktopus strangling Milo and Oscar in their bedroom)
Jocktopus: This is what you get for kickin' me, Troutface.
Oscar: I want to be a girl again!